Day 1 - Ambition of the Heart

Day 1 - Ambition of the Heart, originally uploaded by Mild Seven Lights.

Welcome back to Pakistan
I'm back on the Karakorum Highway and just saw a sneak peek of Nanga Parbat, one of the highest mountain of the world. I love this place. I yell at the top of my lungs a big Woo Hoo, as the pick up truck makes it way to Gilgit.

Follow the dream, take the risk, you definately go places. I forgot what it is like to be free. I was once in love, real love but she let me go. It saddens me but it set me free, free to be the greatest I can be. And so I am on mission again, in Pakistan photographing girls schools and empowerment centres. Then do the photojournalism thing and head into Mingora and Mardan and film the war going on.

The Taliban have lost control of Mingora but there is still fighting going on. Over a million people are displaced in Mardan apparently 70,000 women are pregnant without proper facilities. Photograph away and see if the world cares.

I remember coming home last time from Pakistan and Banda Aceh telling people stories of what happened out there but conversations lasted over five minutes of interest. I felt saddened and depressed. I grew sick of celebrities getting the front page for banal shit. I wanted out of this life.

Sad, Lonely, yes but this is the life I made myself. I can't go back, I would never be happy. Afghanistan has been an adventure and though I cannot explain why I love it so much but I do. Here I have met some great friends, some lovers, even had a child with one but I am still me.

Though I would give up anything to be with my child everyday, I accepted that it is not my life. She is the greatest thing in my life though and I look forward to the next day I will see little Mia Nourida, I can only hope she can be proud of a father who wanted to help the world and little kids.

I enjoyed the smiles of the orphans and the street kids who skate with Skateistan. It must be something to have a little bit of fun in their lives. To throw away any sadness in their lives and be a kid.

With that in mind I am hoping I can get to Balakot and find the kids I lived with in the orphanage during the earthquake recovery. I miss them, I miss the girl Ajara and Taira up in Manoor Valley who I taught how to write and promised them a school.

Anyway I am a dreamer with ambition. Still young, reckless and adventurous. One day everyone will stop caring about what I do. This is when I know I die because there is nothing left I can give. I will never call myself a photographer, I am just good at taking photos.

Me I care about life and want to see it for as it is but I want to be active about than take a photo. I loved every moment teaching English in orphanages in Balakot and Banda Aceh, teaching them boxing and English, playing cricket, taking them on hiking trips. I remember rebuilding houses and rice padi fields, catch prawns in the dams. What I remember most is smiling faces.

I once tried to climb K2, with no real mountaineering training, I did it cause I was reckless but I did it to test how far my spirit could go. My spirit felt more for my friend who was dying from Altitude Sickness and though i knew I could abandon him for personal gain, that was not me. No regrets.

Anyway this is my rant. Go as far as your spirit can go. Follow the path that is your heart and have no regrets.